Disclaimer: you're about to read an article about an SEO copywriter in London. It's quite good, but it does cover themes such as death, terminators and loose bowels. If that sounds scary then probably don't read any further.
One day, we'll both be dead.
You, reading this sentence. Me, the person who's written it. And we don't know how it or when will happen.
Perhaps you’ll get hit by a bin truck next Tuesday morning (I hope not — be careful out there).
Maybe I'll die of smoke inhalation at some point in the late 2080s, having saved a load of children from a burning orphanage.
In both cases, it'll be a shame. I mean look at us, we each have so much to give.
Anyway — the point is that the clock is ticking. Our demise is inevitable.
So do you really want to waste precious moments reading dull, uninspiring copy?
I'm going to presume the answer's no.
And yet there it is, slopped all over the internet. Copy that's 'just about doing the job'. Words that might generously be described as 'functional'. Pages upon pages of waffle.
Isn't it about time we changed things? I certainly think so.
That's where CRG Creative comes in.
I’m an SEO copywriter in London, and my one-man digital marketing agency is here to provide:
Enthralling marketing copy that people spend hours devouring on your website.
Email campaigns that are so engaging, recipients lose control of their bowels and quite literally cack themselves with joy.
Social posts that are witty, insightful and clever enough to be liked and shared by celebrities (and I mean actual celebrities. We’re talking Stephen Mulhern as a base level. I know — not bad, eh?)
Content strategies that deliver numbers so massive, you'd need an oversized truck with an absurd payload capacity just to transport them from your analytics dashboard to a Powerpoint presentation. So you’d bloody well better have a valid HGV licence.
I offer other services as well. Scripts, research, ghostwriting, e-books… essentially, if the task involves words then I’m your man. Numbers? Urgh, forget it.
By the way, I’m not the only SEO copywriter in London
Look, I’m nothing if not honest. If you’re looking to hire an SEO copywriter in London, there are plenty out there.
You could even use one of those AI robots to churn out a bunch of words for you — they are alarmingly impressive. Soon we might need a reprogrammed killer robot from the future to travel back in time and stop them from taking over the world and enslaving us.
Or you could just hire me. Because I’m not a robot; I’m an actual human with original thoughts.
And compared to any other SEO copywriter in London, I have an impressive portfolio; I’ve written for Adidas, Channel 4 and Tesco, to drop just three big-name brands out there. Oh, and my work was nominated for an award once. It didn’t win, but the whole thing was a fix if you ask me.
So what are you waiting for? Get in touch to discuss your content needs today.
Then, when people start complimenting you on your marketing efforts, you can brag about how you took the bold business decision to use CRG Creative. And then they’ll be like, “Oh wow, I wish I was as clever as you.”
You can drop me a line on the address below. Because life's too short for boring copy.
That’s the hard sell over. Interested in working together? Email me at info@crgcreative.agency.